James Henley

5 Tips for Dealing with Conflict

Dealing with conflict, either with people you are responsible for, or between people, is one of the most challenging parts of leadership.

It’s one of the elements of leadership I have always struggled with, as my tendency is always to want to ‘leave it’ or ignore things and hope they go away. Unfortunately they don’t.

However, dealing with conflict constructively can actually be a really good thing. Good conflict resolution can strengthen faltering relationships, help to clarify miscommunication or lead to setting new goals for development.

Recently, I was at a leadership conference where a speaker gave one of their top tips as ‘never ignore conflict’ - I took this up as one of my goals for the next few months to try and intentionally improve on the way I deal with conflict.

So here’s my 5 tips I’ve found useful for dealing with conflict. Feel free to disagree, pick them apart, or suggest others of your own:

1. Listen first, wait and then speak yourself.
2. Keep anger in check, keep your voice quiet and calm.
3. Be specific, talk about specific events/situations/people/numbers and reference them rather than making general statements.
4. Ask others to be specific as well. Don’t be afraid to ask others to clarify what they mean.
5. After speaking, ask for feedback. Eg ‘Does what I’ve said seem fair?’

What do you think? Do you have any tips for me as I attempt to grow my skills at dealing with conflict?